by Nick Kidawski
It’s a good start but there’s more
You’ve just heard the words from your partner that you hoped you’d never hear…
“It’s over.” or “This relationship isn’t working out for me anymore.”
This can be a shock to your system, cause your heart to break, or feel like a punch to your gut that knocks the wind out of you.
Today, there are thousands of books, podcasts, online articles, YouTube videos, etc. to help with healing after a separation or split and you certainly have your choice with what to choose from.
Looking for answers on how to heal your sadness, anxiety, fear, or shock and release those negative thoughts…you stumbled upon meditation.
However, can meditation help with a breakup or divorce?
You figured you might as well give it a shot and had nothing to lose.
And so it began…
Sitting on your meditation cushion every day, closing your eyes, and focusing on your breath, as you try to notice your negative thoughts and then let them go.
Or, you may be using a popular meditation app such as Calm, Insight Timer, EcoMeditation, or Headspace.
Either way, as you focus on your contemplation practice for the day, you notice your shoulders drop, your breathing deepens, and you finally drop into the space of feeling at peace and settled…just for a few minutes.
It’s the Calm before the Storm
I’m sure you’ve heard this phrase before.
According to Wondoropolis:
The calm before the storm started as a phrase sailors used. They were referring to an actual weather phenomenon they observed at sea. They noticed that, just before a storm, the air around them seemed to get very still. Even the waves would calm for a few moments. Soon, the clouds would gather and they’d hear the first clap of thunder. They started calling those few moments the calm before the storm.
This is the same space you’re working on creating in your mind through meditation practice before the storm of your work day begins – the email or call from your ex, final papers wrapping up the court case, picking up your kids on your day to see them, or putting that down payment on a new condo for yourself.
And, as it begins, the storm starts to make its way toward you slowly… and there’s no way to get out of its path.
Your few minutes of bliss in the morning have turned into a raging storm inside your mind and you’re stuck with what you can do to calm yourself in the moment.
Do you meditate for 10 minutes in the morning instead of 5? Will that be better?
Do you call a meditation time out in the middle of an important meeting?
Can meditation help with a breakup or after a divorce?
Maybe you’re seeing things differently now.
When your mind doesn’t give you the answers, it’s time to go to your heart.
“Why would I go to my heart? I thought to calm my anxiety, shock, or overwhelm from my split, I need to focus on calming my mind.” you may be wondering.
Yep, I understand.
However, what science has discovered in recent years is that your heart has quite an amazing intelligence that if tapped into on a regular basis, can help you to start to heal heartbreak.
For example, your heart sends 4x more information up to your brain than your brain does to your body.
Kind of cool, huh?
Using a bottom-up approach (working with your body to calm your mind) can be beneficial in addition to maintaining your regular meditation practice.
Give this a quick try:
- With your eyes open, focus your attention on the area of your chest or heart.
- Breathe a little slower and deeper than you normally do, inhaling for a count of 5 and exhaling for a count of 5.
- Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart with each breath you take.
- When you’re ready, bring to your mind a renewing feeling. It could be a past accomplishment or a place in nature you like to go, for example.
- As you continue to breathe in and out of your heart, feel that renewing feeling (it could be peace, calm, joy, love, or appreciation) in your heart and through your whole body.
Just do this for 30 seconds and notice how you’re feeling. More calm is my guess.
So, can meditation help with a breakup?
It can.
However, by connecting with the power of your heart, you can feel calm, centered, and clear-headed in the moment and this can help you self-regulate your emotions and move forward in your life with ease.
No meditation cushion needed!
The power of this tool is in its simplicity.
Use it often and you’ll be glad you did!
Your next gentle step:
Breathing in and out of your heart to calm your shock, fear, sadness, or overwhelm is just the first step to you really transforming it into ease instead of just coping with it or managing it.
If you’re ready to go deeper and apply heart-centered techniques to your unique situation, then check out my From Heartbreak To Wholeness Program where you will:
- Connect with your heart to stop energy-draining emotions keeping you stuck in the past, so you have the resilience to create sustained change.
- Replace unwanted thoughts and feelings with renewing and elevated heart qualities, so you can see new options and opportunities for moving forward.
- Learn to operate from a self-secure place inside, so you can make empowering choices that are aligned with the intuitive guidance of your heart.
- And more!
