by Endre Hoffmann, the Doctor of Self-Worth
I despised my father for his constant criticism of me. He’d brought his work stress home with him. His normal stress states included anger, blaming, fears, and anxiety. He was ready to blow up; he needed a tiny spark. I was aware that I should have loved him. I tried for a long time and failed repeatedly. I was filled with rage at this situation and couldn’t express it. I couldn’t possibly win. It was so unjust. I concluded that something was wrong with me. I couldn’t improve myself enough for him to accept and love me as I was. Drinking with extended family or friends was his occasional release strategy. Looking back, I’ve only seen broken father-son relationships all around me. Not a single genuine one.
At around the age of eight, blessed with the power of the subconscious mind, I devised a strategy to prove myself worthy of love or escape from home. I developed into a wounded high achiever. I had the highest grade point average in school. I became involved in and excelled at a variety of sports. At the age of 12, I won a national championship in basketball. Then I climbed mountains and ran marathons out of desperation or rage. The love I yearned for my father was not given to me. Was I ever good enough to please my father and grandfather?
I felt undeserving. I shielded myself from my emotions so I wouldn’t have to deal with this unsolvable situation. This resulted in the “comparing” pattern. I was always looking for outside validation because I didn’t get it at home. I lived with a faulty map: not good enough, unworthy of love, undeserving, and so on. I tried everything I could think of to help myself, and here are a few examples: I moved three times, started and failed new businesses, had a corporate career, a sports career, and extensive travel to 64 countries to find answers, so I went spiritual to avoid it all, overworked myself, aimed for wealth to feel worthy (false goal), network marketing, married, personal development: books, seminars, workshops, and so on. I spent over $100,000 and 15 years studying the mind. I had the impression that the answers
were hidden there.
I couldn’t figure out how to get out of my difficulties. I was attempting to solve the problem at the levels of thought that I had created. Yes, I’m referring to the 5-year-old version of myself. My life appeared to be a big adventure from the outside. Feelings of unfulfillment and dissatisfaction persisted. As I approached my forties, my discontent grew stronger. Everything I did reflected my childhood patterns. I fought it in every way I could until I hit a brick wall, and everything crumbled: my health and relationships with my wife and children. I was afraid I’d lose them all. This amount of pain I needed to commit to the new version of myself has brought the Doctor of Self-Worth brand to life. Do not wait until it becomes unbearable; instead, keep looking for solutions that work to change the way you experience yourself.
Childhood trauma is real and widespread, and it can manifest itself in various ways, trapping people in recurring events for most of their lives. Divorce, humiliation, abuse, ridicule, bullying, or feeling ignored are all possible causes. Since then, I’ve discovered that 95% of people who contact me are stuck in subconscious limitations from their childhood, causing problems and a lack of results in their health, wealth, and relationships. So I decided to assist those ready to resolve common generational patterns of limitation, such as “not enough,” in this critical aspect of life. Most people discover in their 70s or 80s that they lived a small and safe life. To save them time, money, and relationships, I now compress decades of slow learning through recurring setbacks into 6-12 months of psychological shifts.
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